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If Reindeer Were Runners

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I had too much time off and with help from my best friend, came up with the following descriptions of Reindeer as if they were a runner stereotype. So take a break from the sugar, the nog, the cider and enjoy a laugh.

Dasher– The runner who sprints past you huffing/puffing, then 50 meters ahead is keeled over and sounds like they’re about to die. You pass them, comfortably, while enjoying the beautiful day.. then they hurdle past again until they can no longer breathe, halt to a complete stop and you toy with the idea of educating this person on interval training and/or RPE (rate of perceived exertion).

Dancer– The runner who wears Beats Headphones, or any over the ear kind, and is singing or mouthing, or semi-singing (weirdos), and fist bumping the air like it’s the season finale of Jersey Shore.

Prancer– The dainty runner. This can be a girl or a boy (trust me, this is what prompted this entire blog idea). Anywho, a person who runs on what appears to be their tiptoes, while ever so daintily keeping their arms near their sides…They have never mastered the 90 degree, hip to nip arm swings…nor do they want to.

Vixen– This is the female runner who spent $300 on a head to toe matching Nike ensemble, spent 30 minutes perfecting a slick pony tail, and all morning on her makeup. Don’t worry, her makeup and hair will remain in tact since she will only “jog” for about 20 minutes then take an Instagram selfie and #nofilter it.

Can someone tell Ms Kerr she's needs a real sports bra if she plans on going further than the end of the street? (source)

Can someone tell Ms Kerr she needs a real sports bra if she plans on going further than the end of the street? (source)

Comet– The crop duster. Yep I said it. The gassy runner you’re stuck behind and can’t seem to get around. Any direction you move the fart smell finds you. But how? I’M OUTSIDE!?

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Cupid– The runner who goes out to hit on people. (Please tell me i’m not the only one who’s experienced this?) “Oh Hey! Don’t I know you?”, “How far you going today?”, “You’ve been pacing me the last couple miles” <—-creeeeepy!

(source)

(source)

Donner– I’ve described this one in the past, so anytime I get an excuse to use my hand drawn picture i will. This runner dons every piece of running equipment they own.

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Blitzen– The huge body builder/linebacker dude that’s out running. These are the guys/girls that I see during marathons and am completely shocked they can kill it. Also reminds me that runners come in every shape and size.

Rudolph– The under dressed runner with the runny, red nose of course! Gotta be hardcore in 25 degree weather! #toofastforsleeves

And one just because…

 

Weekly Workouts

Monday: 5 rounds- 1000m row, 15 weighted squats (50lbs), 20 alt lunges w/med ball twist

Tuesday: 4m easy 8:45/pace, 5 rounds- 5 pull-ups, 10 pushups, 15 sit-ups

Wednesday: 5m easy 8:35/pace

Thursday: Rest

Friday: 2m walk

Saturday: 6m easy 8:10/pace, 1m ice skate

Sunday: 11m easy 8:23/pace

Total Miles: 26 + 2 walking

Which Reindeer Runner is your favorite?