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Oh the Honesty…

I need to be honest. Training has it’s ups and downs. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and so on. I know it’s a little dumb, especially coming off of a great training half marathon, but i’m scared that I won’t be able to run the pace i want in 7 weeks. My spring ‘A’ race is almost here and halfway through training, I’m doubting myself and to be brutally honest, I’m fucking scared.

I hold running close to my heart. It’s a sport I didn’t get to play in school (not by my own choice, but that’s another story). After being active in art and music –all of which are subjective as to whether or not I was any good, I found running. The distance you cover, the pace you run, the time on the official board, is what it is. No one can take that away. It’s objective, black and white and another one of the hundreds of reasons I love it.

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Each year I fall more and more in love with running. And each year i set goals. The goal of breaking 1:30 in a half marathon has been a far fetched goal of mine. It was once the secret, i bet one day I can break 1:30, goal. It’s been in the back of my head for years, even before I broke two hours. Until now I thought coming close to this time goal was as out there as finding the pot o’gold at the end of the rainbow or the lost city of Atlantis…

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from our Sunday walk 🙂

I have several more of those seemingly impossible,  i can’t say these out loud goals which i’ll save for another time. Once a goal crosses my mind again and again, it’s hard for me to shake them. I have to know if i can do it! Or at least I have to try.

I’m 6 minutes away from a huge running goal of mine and for the first time in a while, i’m scared of it. It almost seems too big to actually happen. It’s getting close and for some reason the closer it comes the more i doubt my abilities. Yeah, i know! Ridiculous. But i’m allowed to have ridiculous thoughts, that’s the point of this post. Training takes a strange toll on you mentally and emotionally.

Maybe i’m just dealing with post-race blues? Maybe I’m not ready to hit the 1:30 goal this soon because it will close a big chapter in my running life. Maybe I’m already nervous of what goals I have for after.

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Most days i feel motivated, strong and unconquerable. Those confident feelings of I CAN, push me through workouts and keep me relaxed when paces and miles seem impossible. I remind myself often, the mind will quit well before the body and we are all capable of what we can’t even possibly imagine.

See, talking it out with all of you makes me feel much better. Thanks for letting me air my thoughts :).

Last Week

Monday: 20min yoga

Tuesday: 8.5m interval 16 x 400s @ 10k pace (6 @ 6:31/pace, 6 @ 6:27/pace, 4 @ 6:22/pace)

Wednesday: 6.9m easy 8:58/pace, 40 min shoulders + legs

Thursday: 30 min Rope pull up/downs + core 

Friday: 7m alternating easy tempo 8:41/pace

Saturday: 11m easy 9:30/pace

Sunday: 2.5m walk w/LE

Total Miles: 33.4

Care to share your crazy training emotions?

What gets you through the self doubt?

 


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Shifting Focus

Monday: 45min upper body

Tuesday: 5.6m “race pace” workout

(^ Race Pace progression workout. 1 mile warm up 9:05, 1 mile marathon pace 8:45, 1 mile half marathon pace 7:35, 1 mile 10k pace 7:08, 1 mile 5k pace 6:40, half mile cool down. Very fun workout I pulled from a RW magazine. Very interesting to feel pacing for different distances.)

I still haven’t picked out any races, but i can say that I’ve enjoyed taking the stress out of running right now. There’s always pressure to preform well during a race, especially to hit time goals. I might run a 5k for fun this winter, but honestly i’m ready to put in the time to cross-train and build mileage to set up for a healthy spring. Winter is all about maintaining…and pumpkin pie.

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I would love/like/hope/willsitonsantaslapandaskfor a sub-20 5k and a 1:30 half marathon next year. Hitting these goals in the past has been difficult since I’m constantly training for several races at a time. Just because we “run” doesn’t mean we can run well at each distance. I think somewhere along the lines of blogging and personal expectations we forget that the 5k, 10k, half and full are completely different races with different training cycles.

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The Chicago Marathon was the kick in the grass I needed to realize that if I want to qualify for Boston and run a marathon 15 minutes faster in the upcoming years, I need to solely focus on marathon specific training. Elite runners don’t run every distance well, how am I supposed to? LIke I said, I think we get caught up in seeing everyone on Instagram or blogs and think we can do it all. Chances are we can’t, especially when running isn’t our full time job.

little  baby deer from my run Sunday

little baby deer from my run Sunday

I’m not trying to be a downer here, just trying to remind myself to take one race distance at a time and put the effort toward one goal at a time. If I want magic to happen and goals to be met in 2015, I need to focus on one thing at a time.

this guy crossed right in front of me

this guy crossed right in front of me

So far, and this can change on a whim i’m sure—I’d like to focus on my 5k goal in the spring and the half goal in the fall. That way I’m not squeezing several goals into 2-3 months just to buy into a race. The 5k will be a different type of training for sure, but I can take a few go’s at it since recovery is faster. Then after my normal June low-mileage month,  I can focus on 1-2 fall half marathons, again to have more than one shot to hit my time goal.

no, i will not stop wearing my favorite sweater :)

no, i will not stop wearing my favorite sweater 🙂

OH and I passed the 1000 mile mark for this year 🙂 feeling good!

Last Week

Monday: 4m trail run  9:17/pace

Tuesday: 6.5m easy 8:35/pace, 1hr TRX full body workout

Wednesday: Rest

Thursday: 5.4m easy 8:25/pace, 40min triceps/shoulders, low back

Friday: Rest

Saturday: 20min back workout

Sunday: 8m easy 8:16/pace

Total Miles: 23.9

What do you guys think? Is it a good idea to take a break from the marathon and focus on speed?