July of this year was torturous. My wedding was called off, I moved out, I was injured (no running!), took on a new job position, and was trying to hold everything together just enough to try and live normally. Train for a marathon, try new things, get a haircut. The usual things to keep the mind distracted from your life at the moment.
In pure frustration one warm summer night many months ago, in a half empty, lonely apartment, I grabbed a giant piece of packing paper and wrote across the top, “Things that make me happy” and i just started writing. I decided then and there I’d just start doing things, simple things, that put a smile on my face. I haven’t turned back since. I am truly trying to do things that will better my future, even if it’s just a simple thing on a daily level.
Here it is, unaltered and raw. Don’t judge, this is my list, not yours 😉
Things That Make Me Happy
1) Running, especially in new cities
2) Coffee, extra hot so it lasts long
3) Egg sandwiches
4) Adventure
5) spontaneous activities
6) Laughing
7) Good TV Shows
8) Visiting Family & Friends
9) Traveling to new places
10) Lifting Heavy Weights
11) Pushing my body’s strength & endurance
12) blogging
13) Personal training @ Gold’s Gym
14) good music & live concerts
15) Playing piano
16) Cleaning
17) Feeling weightless
18) Cookies, dark chocolate
19) Drawing/Painting
20) Hiking
21) Visiting beaches
What I’m finding out about myself isn’t too complicated. I love coffee, breakfast foods, being creative, athletic and traveling.
I already knew these things, but somewhere earlier last year I felt like I was losing myself. What I discovered after time passed, and many, many, therapy sessions later is that I am the same person. I like the same things I did before. I was just scared. Terrified shitless actually, that getting married would make me a person I didn’t want to be. That I would lose all the things I actually like about myself. But of course that isn’t what happens. I was just too depressed and clouded to think any different. You’re supposed to be with a person that supports you for who you are and what you love and do those things together.
Which brings me to the final thing on the Happy List.
22) Cameron
At the time I didn’t want to write his name on the list because that meant the thing I thought was making me unhappy and changing me, was the very thing that makes me most happy in this world. He wasn’t making me unhappy. I just come from a family where divorce is prominent and not having much permanency is a lifestyle. And I got scared out of a big commitment.
So, the cards fell as they did. I chose to work hard when Cameron gave me a chance to go to therapy with him and see if this could work in the future. We chose not to include family or friends in this process because we didn’t want to drag anyone into our drama, but we also wanted privacy while we worked on our relationship.
The good news is therapy has been a huge help and we’ve been feeling really good about our future together. Plus, I miss having Cameron on my blog and I wanted everyone to know what’s been going on. He’s such a huge part of my life it’s been killing me not to include our time together on here.
I hope everyone can be supportive of our decision, and be happy that we’re growing much stronger together than ever before. I really feel like know we’re setting ourselves up for a beautiful life, and I want everyone to be a part of it. 🙂
We’re celebrating our 7 year anniversary today–Cheers!
Workouts from Feb 16th-22nd
Monday: 20 min glutes
Tuesday: 6m interval (8 x 400s, 2 @ 6:03/pace, 2 @ 5:56, 2 @ 5:53, 2 @ 5:46)
Wednesday: CFE- 4200m row, 250 sit ups, 150 push ups
Thursday: 7.5m intervals (6 X 1000m — 6:53, 6:48, 6:44, 6:39, 6:35, 6:33) 30 min core,
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 10m easy 8:15/pace
Sunday: Rest
Total Miles: 23.5
What’s on your happy list?
02/22/2015 at 1:48 PM
Good I idea to make a list of all the things that make you happy 🙂 one tends to loose sight of such things
02/22/2015 at 2:02 PM
I applaud your mature decision-making. You cannot underestimate the importance of being prepared for a life-long commitment, and your choices have been smart and responsible, even though difficult at the time. Good for you both!
02/22/2015 at 2:13 PM
I love your list!!! Traveling, coffee, my husband, girlfriends, and cake are just some of my happy list!
02/22/2015 at 2:14 PM
No time to comment now …. but had to quickly say YAY! 🙂
02/22/2015 at 4:48 PM
That was great!:) thank you for sharing, could you check out my latest blog I think you will enjoy it:)
02/22/2015 at 5:14 PM
Yay! So happy for you and Cameron. I like how you ‘filled in the blanks’ with photos of you guys together that we haven’t gotten a chance to see on your blog over the past several months. I hope that you two continue to have fun and do things that make you both HAPPY!!
Also… running in new cities would be very high on my happy list too. It’s the best! 🙂
02/22/2015 at 8:53 PM
I thought showing the other half of my pics would be fun! And yes to running in new places..I plan on doing a lot of that this year!
02/22/2015 at 8:43 PM
I give you so much credit for making the hard choice but taking the time you needed to figure things out. It will serve you well as time goes on! Loved seeing the pictures…keep being happy!!:)
02/22/2015 at 8:52 PM
Thanks Lisa 🙂
02/23/2015 at 9:45 AM
This is great! I think keeping a list like that is such a good idea, and I love that so many of the things you listed are so simple, like laughing.
Also, I’m so happy to read about a couple successfully navigating a difficult patch. I’m engaged and my partner and I both come from… dynamic… family situations and I often feel so anxious about our abilities to communicate and negotiate conflict in healthy and productive ways. While I don’t know much about your situation in particular, it’s just nice to know that I’m not the only person who worries about my ability to be in a successful relationship.
02/23/2015 at 9:55 AM
I felt very similar to you and i wish someone told me to go to couples therapy before the wedding, or do pre-marital counseling. It’s such a huge help for things like communication and making sure you both are being heard and coming to solutions with productive fights. The good news is too, is therapy is always there for us. We both understand that if something crosses our path that we can’t handle or come to a solution we just book a session. 🙂
02/23/2015 at 10:16 AM
Cori! I think this is wonderful! Happy anniversary to you both and through everything I’m so glad that you are growing stronger together. This post made me smile so much for you. Sometimes life can throw a wrench in our original plans, but sometimes tough times can be a blessing in disguise. Many hugs for you from Baltimore. ❤
02/23/2015 at 10:24 AM
Thanks ❤ !!
02/26/2015 at 4:46 PM
OK, took me a bit (and your new post to remind me) … but seriously, congrats and good for you for doing the right thing by yourself.
You know I am a hopeless romantic and always get warm fuzzies seeing people in love, enjoying each other and so on. I also know that Lisa and I are very lucky – and work damn hard – being together for more than a quarter century … but part of that is knowing and learning what is best for ourselves and each other.
So it is great that you took the time to figure things out … and way to go faking us all out that you guys were still working on things together, spending time and so on. Loved all of the reveal pics … and know that a stronger YOU makes for a stronger ‘BOTH of YOU’. 🙂
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